It's MY party

Wednesday January 16th, 2019  ( have not been outside in two days. rambling aloud)

Reflecting on past memories as they randomly pop into my head with such great detail it feels as if I am there but watching. Some are good others, not so much. I can smell the aroma in the air around me from the memory, I liken it to getting "sweet air" at the dentist. Anytime I was given gas I could swear I am having de ja vu or in a glitch in the matrix it was far more prominent as a child but it would feel almost as if I was between dimensions. Smelling and hearing a photograph.

It seems very strange for me to change so dramatically. I had finally gotten off all the pharmaceuticals and granted a legal medical cannabis card. I had lost some weight and felt pretty good. I still was trying to ignore my symptoms of whatever I was suffering from, it was all just in my mind, the voices. Now people would read that last statement and roll their eyes or shake their heads, "Such a Crutch".

I want to understand why I am not longer the person I was in 2017. I have gained SO much weight, my heart had a stint put in, I am on a total of 12 pills a day of which I am told for life. Why must I be on all these medications for life? All we are doing is letting them control us, they put us on all sorts of chemicals and God knows what. These meds then cause side effects that cause additional medication with even more side effects, an endless circle of the machine.

Today's memories had to do with a few birthdays over my life that were not as happy as they could have been. Made the best of whatever it happened to be, taking friends to a movie or even just house parties. The only attendees seemed to be those who were made to attend, like my "sweet sixteen" two sisters couldn't miss a Menu-do concert on tv. and others still just didn't show. Sure I was hurting inside but I would make the best of the situation.

LB #WWG1WGA
Qarmy

Just a little law and order and Military Tribunals

Monday January 14th, 2019  27°  Grey and Cold

U.S. Code Title 18, Part I, Chapter 115, 2381 Treason:

• 0Whoever, owing allegiance to the United States, levies war against them or adheres to their enemies, giving them aid and comfort within the United States or elsewhere, is guilty of treason and shall suffer death, or shall be imprisoned not less than five years and fined under this title but not less than $10,000; and shall be incapable of holding any office under the United States.

Tuesday January 15th, 2019  25°  feels colder.

U.S. Code title 10, Subsection A, Part II, Chapter 47, Sub chapter X, 906a, Article 106a  Espionage 

• (1) Any person subject to this chapter who, with intent or reason to believe that it is to be used to the injury of the United States or to the advantage of a foreign nation, communicates, delivers, or transmits, or attempts to communicate, deliver, or transmit, to any entity described in paragraph (2), either directly or indirectly, anything described in paragraph (3) shall be punished as a court-martial may direct, except that if the accused is found guilty of an offense that directly concerns (A) nuclear weaponry, military spacecraft or satellites, early warning systems,  or other means of defense or retaliation against large scale attack, (B) war plans, (C) communications intelligence or cryptographic information, or (D) any other major weapons system or major element of defense strategy, the accused shall be punished by death or such other punishment as a court-martial may direct.

(2)An entity referred to in paragraph (1) is—

(A)

a foreign government;

(B)

a faction or party or naval force within a foreign country, whether recognized or unrecognized by the United States; or

(C)

a representative, officer, agent, employee, subject, or citizen of such a government, faction, party, or force.

(3)

A thing referred to in paragraph (1) is a 

writing, code book, signal book, sketch, photograph, photographic negative, blueprint, plan, map, model, note, instrument, appliance, or information relating to the national defense.

(b)

(1)No person may be sentenced by Court-martial to suffer death for an offense under this section (article) unless—

(A)

the members of the 

Court-martial

 u

nanimously find at least one of the aggravating factors set out in subsection (c); and

(B)

the members unanimously determine that any extenuating or mitigating circumstances are substantially outweighed by any aggravating circumstances, including the aggravating factors set out in subsection (c).

(2)Findings under this subsection may be based on—

(A)

evidence introduced on the issue of guilt or innocence;

(B)

evidence introduced during the sentencing proceeding 

or

(C)

all such evidence.

(3)

The accused shall be given broad latitude to present matters in extenuation and mitigation.

(c)A sentence of death may be adjudged by a 

Court-martial

 

for an offense under this section (article) only if the members unanimously find, beyond a reasonable doubt, one or more of the following aggravating factors:

(1)

The accused has been convicted of another offense involving espionage or treason for which either a sentence of death or imprisonment for life was authorized by statute.

(2)

In the commission of the offense, the accused knowingly created a grave risk of substantial damage to the National Security 

(3)

In the commission of the offense, the accused knowingly created a grave risk of death to another person.

(4)

Any other factor that may be prescribed by the President by regulations under Section 836 of this title (article 36)

Next post will  be about vaccines and more

LB - WWG1WGA

I love a good conspiracy

Friday January 4th 2019  7:55 pm still damn cold. (tonight's ramblings courtesy of "Bubba Fett" Indica)

What in earth is going onn?! I mean I love a good conspiracy but in just a mere few months we have had more than a typical amount of them. Everything from the Russian collusion and nonsense now saying things such as George H Bush was executed for treason. That he was involved with Kennedy's assassination, and many other far darker theories flying about, then the envelopes of doom at George H's funeral, several notes passing and odd behaviors and questions.

Curve Ball Outta nowhere!

JFK jr is actually still alive and has been gathering intelligence to help take down those who were responsible for his father's death but also the deep shadow government and all the atrocities committed since.

How many will they churn out now, causing utter chaos and mis/dis information being distributed. You don't know who to trust anymore, not even ourselves at times. We are being overstimulated at an alarming rate. Predictive programming is showing itself right in front of us bet we are missing it with all the distractions.

I mean, out here there is so much, too much to be honest. "News" nowadays is nothing more than someone's point of view. No longer do people rely on proof, truth and facts and it is causing mayhem and discontent among our citizens legal and otherwise. Some crying fake news, others spouting real news and so one so who is right? People are so terribly divided, especially since September 11th, 2001. Speaking of which, here is a sample of predictive programming... (I am not nudging at the alien part but more about the mutual threat against all of humanity.

Is this not a time of such a mutual threat to our very humanity, we need to stop pushing the negatives, fueling that thick, dark sludge that is consuming our world. A different kind of zombie apocalypse, is being created by the press, bias opinions each claiming the other as liars. How did that go...

Be Prepared when the SHTF

In the event that we have an attempt to wipe out our power grid, causing a national blackout, like an EMP attack

Will you be ready?

Below is a list of useful items to help make life a little better if such a terror attack does cause a shut down of our entire power grid. In addition, don't under estimate the power of goodwill you can save some money when it will be needed elsewhere.

• Bottled Water at least 1 gallon per person
• Canned Foods
• Rice, Beans, Wheat, Flour and Yeast. 
• Water Filters/Purifiers
• Charcoal. not just for cooking & heat, can be used to purify water
• Cooking Oils 
  
• Milk powdered and condensed.
• Salt
• Cast iron pots and dutch ovens are long lasting and are made to be used over an open fire.
• Gardening Supplies seeds, books, and tools
• Canning supplies including the jars, lids, pressure cookers, pectin, and other supplies
• Jerky and other long lasting meats. 
• Teas, Coffee, Powered beverages.
• Hygiene supplies shampoo, toothbrushes and toothpaste, mouthwash, floss, etc
• First aid kits
• OTC meds. Pain relievers, Fever reducers, cold & flu, cough syrup. 
• Toilet Paper, Kleenex, Paper Towels
• Vitamins and Herbal Supplements
• Gas masks 
• Flashlights, lanterns, and glowsticks. And don’t forget the batteries or fuel.
• Candles
• Lighters, matches, flint and steel fire starters, fire pistons 
• Saws, axes, hatchets, machetes, hunting knives, sharpening stones and honing oil.
• Fishing supplies/tools 
• Tarps, plastic rolls, nails, rope, hammers and spikes to improvise an shelter.
• Gasoline Containers or anything that could be a gas or water container.
• Gloves, scarves, hats, earmuffs etc
• Boots, belts, warm comfortable clothes, thick socks.
• Cold weather clothing and weather clothing
• Bleach
• Knives & Sharpening tools 
• Backpacks, Duffel Bags
• Large garbage cans and garbage bags can be used for trash, storage, water collection, hauling goods etc. Garbage bags have dozens and dozens of uses, the thick 55 gallon size being the best.
• Paper, pads, pencils, sharpeners, pens, and solar calculators
• Sleeping Bags, Blankets, Pillows, Mats and Inflatable Mattresses.
• Buckets of all sizes and shapes
• Plastic Wrap and Insulation
• Glue, duct tape, nails, nuts, bolts, screws
• Aluminum foil. Can be used for cooking and to harness some power from the sun for purifying water and cooking.
• Prescription medications.
• Duct Tape and Electrical Tape
• Hand pumps & siphons for gas, water, oil

"It can't all be just me"

Wednesday  December 19, 2018  41°  sunny   11:28 am 

Working on my nails for Christmas, speaking of which I am perfectly fine with Happy Holidays seeing as there are so many holidays this month and I appreciate the good intentions and Joy. I can not believe they are complaining about a classic Christmas song, "Baby it's cold outside" being a sexual harassment?! If that is the case we need to do the same and bitch about the word Gay being in other songs or animal abuse in 12 days of Christmas. I mean those who want to ban such things are only showing how selfish they really are. Where is the equal rights?

1:16 pm

Things not to say  to a person dealing with PTSD, Anxiety, and Schizophrenic Bipolar Disorders:
"I am going through all of what your going through plus I have the added stress over the finances now and you don't see me on medications and calling off work" or "When is it going to be my turn" Trust me, you don't want this for you to have your turn we don't appreciate such under playing of mental heath issues and how it affects us when you can't possibly know what is going on inside. Just a tip from your favorite mental patient (which I am) Hence the title of Ramblings of a Mad Hatter. 

Pleahen you say such things, hang up then call back only to ask if I am going in our not despite telling you I  have a nauseating migraine that has come on due the stress and fighting between my now 15 year old son and his father then dragging me deeply into that negativity and then getting mad and bringing up how I am lucky my work is allowing me to work part time and here I go taking off a day... and yet another call now, the ringer is killing me. and again! it's 1:41 and he has called me 4 times, I ended hanging up on him even after I said "If you are going to keep calling me while I am feeling like this I will hang up on you" you then say "Well its annoying as hell, you have to stop letting these things get to you and risk loosing your job. You can't just call in when things are a little tough". ,I am going to lay down and turn the freakin phone off.

4:28 pm

So he called 2 more times since I last wrote, asking if I went to post office to which I said I had not gone out at all due to my headache. When I offered to take it he said "well if you can do that you can go to work" I said dropping an envelope into a post box is in no way like working multiple hours. He keeps insisting our family is dysfunctional and that the therapist whom we have only seen 2-3 times tops and he doesn't see where this therapist is helping at all. So I am off to the post office TTFN

His new comments on "it can't all be me" every time he argues with our son  is driving me insaner

Birthdays and Bewilderment

December 11, 2018  27 °  2:13 pm chilly but sunny


Getting ready to pick up my handsome son, Tomorrow is his fifteenth birthday! I am so very proud of him, he is beautiful inside and out. His soul is old and he is wiser than his years. I do fear however, that he may have inherited my empathetic gift. Going to Yummy Asian Bistro for sushi and fried rice. My son enjoyed himself and we had a wonderful evening.

December 12, 2018  23   9:20 pm cold and dreary all day. (Watching my favorite YouTube channels Edge of wonder.)


Population culling. That is what has been on my mind recently, with the suspicious packages sent to various political figures including Soros and Clintons. When I think about all the ways we can and possibly are being controlled:

Geo-engineering and weaponizing of weather.  Chem-trails and cloud seeding are just two ways to cause widespread contaminating agents. Not saying creating a real life Walking Dead Zombie apocalypse, but very well spread a mild cotangent that can weed out the weaker while the stronger a persons immunity would dictate what level a person is forming something like Gattica, a movie I highly recommend it.

GMO and animal steroids, pesticides and chemicals in our produce and more. There are so many ways they are directly manipulating our DNA and world. We have been unwittingly subjected to massive bombardment of assaults. We are willing lab rats for the hierarchy, we eat the fast food containing chemicals to make us crave it. We know it is not good for us but we just can't seem to stay away from it. We all have a weakness, be it wine, beer, fast food, drugs, sex, etc and we buckle and give in even if only once in a very while.

Frequencies and vibrations are another area we are constantly being manipulated by and many don't know it. All that stuff we tinfoil hat wearing conspiracy theorists say about how the higher powers are streaming various frequency waves to be received by parts of our brain we don't even know about. hmmm Starting to ramble, need sleep/   LB

Tuesday November 4, 2018

This is so much harder than I thought it would be. I no longer have money on me, if I want/need money I have to ask for it. That being said lets get on with the current entry.

Tuesday December 4, 2018     1:25 pm    31° just dreary gray. no music just silence.

My husband has now called for the 9th time today to either remind me of what I need to do (laundry, dishes, sanding drywall etc.), what am I making for dinner, and once again going over why he doesn't understand why I would leave my full time job and go on short term medical leave when I knew the financial burden it would cause and the responsibility I have to pay various bills. Despite knowing how stressful the job had become, contributing to my heart issues back in April this year.

Why I thought it necessary to go on short term leave is because my doctor wrote a form out instructing as such. So from September 6 - November 23,  I was on leave all the while I under went much psychological testing, therapy and medications which would be tweaked every so often as they regulated dosages etc. All of which mind you has an additional price tag attached to it. $30 co-pay a week just to see both doctor and therapist only to learn in addition to my preexisting PTSD, anxiety and major depressive disorders it was discovered I am also Schizo-affective Bipolar. How does this affect me? Guess what, yup in addition to the 7 meds for my hear that I have to take for basically the rest of my life I get an additional 6 meds, did I mention I HATE big Pharma and believe they keep us ill so we need even more meds etc, which was why my previous therapist got me a start issued medical cannabis card.

Since my atrial-fibrillation episode in early and being thrust on 7 pills they put a stint into my widow-maker due to an 85% blockage, I am only 48! That my friends is why I had to leave my job for a little while, I have returned to work actually, though my doctor wrote out the limitations to my working conditions, I am to be at 25 hours the most and no more than 6 hours a day, 4 days a week and must be able to leave during daylight hours. So thus far as of November 25th I have worked 3 days and they have not yet put me on schedule for the entire next week, the Wednesday after tomorrow. Now about the meds I started taking in April... Most of them had the side affect "may cause depression", one even said significant depression. So as one can imagine, already having the handful of acronyms this only matters far worse..

As for my focus, memory and motor skills, I have to use spell check all the time now as even thought I think I am typing the right thing it inevitably comes up misspelled anyway. And once again had to call said doctor's office to get my appointment date/times because I could not remember. It really sucks, you feel like you don't have a grasp of your own life, you begin questioning everything. Did I say that, when did I do this etc. You feel like a huge burden to those around you, you even can become so far as to feel worthless.